A Breadbox and Wine Cellar Saga

Fall gave way to Winter easing in just in time for a traditional holiday season. The parties are planned. Friends and family undoubtedly will be visiting.  And then…perhaps a few others.  It is also the time many creatures change their geographic location for comfort.  This is especially true of earth’s tiniest creatures – mice.  It is of course in the cellar where you might expect a mouse to show up with his long tail, pink ears and pink nose.  But sometimes, they simply move where they have access, or they’ve have been invited.

Just as I was preparing for the holiday season, my neighbor rudely abandoned his pussyfooted friends and they thought, hey, perhaps there is a party or lodging next door. Let’s go see. 

Be ready, this rowdy bunch never travels alone. They sometimes bring the whole family and a few friends.  I had Mickey, Minnie, their friend Jerry and cousin Stuart Little.  Mickey and Minnie also felt the need to bring two of their babies.  

My two cents:  don’t be alarmed when they show up.  Do be calm and patient.  Remember this is YOUR house and they were not invited to your house, party or no party.  My neighbor simply up and left them and they went from warm, cozy days and nights with all the food, hair and hampers they could find to nothing.  

No, they didn’t knock on the door to see if they could stay with me.  They knocked on the walls and ceiling like their uncouth way of being.  And they showed up in the middle of the night. 

But like every Vanderbuilt etiquette-schooled hostess, I was ready; and you can be as well.  Keep some pellets, and peppermint oil around, but be prepared you might have to bring out the gas to get the unwanted party guests to leave your home.  Don’t wait until the entire neighborhood shows up. You see, once there is word on the street or alley that there is a party, everyone feels compelled to join the festivities.  As soon as the first guest arrives unannounced, serve him some sushi-flavored pellets and a peppermint oil cocktail.  No need to turn down the lights, just plug in the ultrasonic pest repeller for sounds only good to their ears.   

Now I’m a devout believer in Christ and I believe in grace. So, what did I do?  I left them peanut butter treats on a platter (glue trap) just like we leave cookies and milk for Santa Claus.  I made sure that the kitchen – you know everyone congregates in the kitchen and so did these critters — was filled with the holiday smell of peppermint and cloves – all of the scents they love? No, loathe.  I left an extra platter of the sushi-flavored pellets under the stove and by the back door in a corner (whats a party without sending your guests home with a party favor), turned the music (ultrasonic pest repeller) all the way up and went upstairs to wrap my gifts and write out my holiday cards. 

At some point I fell asleep and awakened the next morning to find the kitchen pretty much in tack.  But there was one drunk soul playing with sushi pellets behind the fridge and a few stumbling inside the wall.  I’d had enough. The party was over, they had to go.  I called enforcement, laughed as the gas was forced into their gateway to my home and voila, in just a few hours, all was now quiet, not even a mouse made a sound. 

What did I say to my neighbor? Well, that criminal fled the country, or the house and never returned. I think he was embarrassed by his rude behavior and didn’t want to face me.  Good riddens to you. 

To everyone else, “twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  

May you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year filled with peace, love and no uninvited late- night prowlers.